…until He tests them deeply.

September 1, 2018.

13 months gone. 13 months since I’ve seen her beautiful face.
Nothing about this life is easy. No one told us that it would be.
With the help, love, support, and prayers of many we have made it this far.
And we are grateful. Blessed in our sorrow. Still.
Yet the pain is still raw. The pain is still real.

The triggers come from many things:
*dropping Robert off at HMS for 8th grade. Her last academic year… she crossed the street and entered the building with him. He in 6th, she in 8th.
*driving forward and getting stopped at the HHS crosswalk, only to see an occasional classmate or two of hers crossing with their Starbucks. That would have been her.
*seeing photos of the football games. She loved going. Especially the pink out. She would be decked out head to toe in breast cancer awareness gear, and wouldn’t leave til she found Chick to get a hug and a picture together.
*going to church. She always served Mass with Robert. Not seeing her walk down the aisle to the entrance hymn with him. If she had the candle for the gospel, she would look at us and smile. I always had to tell Keith not to make her get the giggles. Because he could and she would.
*walking past her room. silent. devoid. very still.

I wonder what she does in Heaven. I wonder her higher purpose. Keith likes to say that she graduated life. There was no more for her to do here on earth. But much more for her to do in Heaven. And I know she’s doing great things from above. I feel her. But I miss her.
If only…….

DeeplyThanks to my dear cousin, Barb, for this ever-so-true imagery.


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